Recent Discoveries That Should Have Happened Years Ago

  1. Alcohol makes me way more fun…
  2. …Until it makes me a nightmare to be around
  3. The difference between steps 1 & 2 is about half an ounce
  4. Having a job in the field I spent 6 years spending $100,000 sounds really cool
  5. In reality, it’s a cubicle 30-45 minutes away from my house
  6. I have no “office-appropriate” clothes
  7. I can fake it with the same black slacks I wore at Bath & Body Works 7 years ago
  8. The cheap mascara makes my eyelashes just as black as the expensive mascara
  9. I really need glasses
  10. I am so good at TV. I can guess the end of Intervention 9/10 times

Miss y’all!

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Gossip Girl Drinking Game

Take a shot every time:

Dan stutters
Serena’s boobs are on display
Chuck squints and whisper-talks
You forget about Nate
Lily and Rufus decide they’re in love
Lily and Rufus decide not to do anything about being in love
Someone underage drinks
Blair says something bitchy
Chuck and Blair almost get together
Someone is mean to Eric (2 shots)
Lily has sex with not her husband
Someone says something in another language
Someone loves Serena more than anyone else
Dan is sarcastic
Nate is wise
Someone from Serena’s past fucks shit up

I’ll keep adding on.

X.o.x.o

This Post Brought to You by Batman Pants

image

I stole these from a friend of mine a few weeks ago at a birthday party. I feel kind of bad, but not as bad as i could because she knows my reputation as a pants thief. If I am offered comfy pants, they are never seen or heard from again…except by me in my apartment.

Do you have better comfy pants? Let me know!

Super Creepy, Dude

So I had a guy come in to my work for a consultation. One of the first things he said was that he drinks an impressive amount of water. I thought, “weird, but harmless.”

I was wrong.

Once we were in the room alone, he told me he had a Hello Kitty brush in his car and that he wanted nothing more than to put me in pigtails. It sounds like such a small thing, but it really scared me.